


Eat Me

by TheTalkingPeanut



Category: Mystery Science Theater 3000, Real Person Fiction, RiffTrax - Fandom
Genre: Blood Drinking, Blood and Violence, Bloodplay, Body Worship, Cannibalism, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, I Don't Even Know, Kidnapping, Lust, M/M, Mental Instability, Obsession, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Torture, Violence, Worship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 13:20:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18874000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTalkingPeanut/pseuds/TheTalkingPeanut
Summary: Mike had only gone to pick up a few things from the store, and Kevin only happened to call him just to see how things were going. How could either of them know that such a thing would happen next? But it did. Now, what is Kevin going to do about it, if he even can? And what's more; how much should he get Bill involved?(More of a RiffTrax fanfic, but MST3K will have to so since it is mentioned/associated with it)





	Eat Me

**Author's Note:**

> This story-thing is going to be a bit graphic. The whole thing was inspired by a Rifftone song that Kevin wrote of the same name. You don't have to look it up or anything, I plan on going into more detail about it later.  
> As I said, this is really a RiffTrax fanfic. But apparently those don't exist, so *shrugs* that's weird. I'm putting it here even though it deals with the real people, not the characters.  
> Also, want to possibly apologize in advance to anyone who reads this with the possibility (and most likely) slow updates. Due to certain reasons updating quickly is difficult for me but I will try.
> 
> If you like it, lemme know I guess.

"Did you get the goods?" Kevin asked Mike the moment his face popped up on his phone screen.

Mike, in return, saluted him. "Mission accomplished, Captain! The Puffs have been achieved! I repeat; the Puffs have been achieved!"

Kevin visibly sat back with a sigh, "Thank Craig..."

"Yes, thank Craig indeed. Permission to come home, Sir?"

"Permission granted, Private." Kevin straightened and put on his best commanding voice. Even added a little eyebrow raise to show he meant business. "And Nelson."

"Yes, Sir?"

"Good work out there. That close call we had with General Corbett, being deprived of his Utz Cheese Balls was...too close for comfort." he shuddered.

"I remember all too well Sir. Those were dark days. Dark days indee-- what the hell?" A _beep!_ came from Mike's end of the line and he frowned into the phone, looking rather confused.

Kevin knew exactly what it was. "Now, Mike, let me explain."

"Kevin..." his eyes stayed trained on the message.

"There is a reason for this I swear."

"38 phone calls?"

 _"Do you know how hard it is to get a hold of you?!"_ Kevin screamed, their stupid skit now officially broken.

Mike's eyebrows shot up near the rim of his peebles hat. He was on the move, and based on what was in the background it seemed he was in a Walmart. "I wasn't aware anyone was _trying_ to get a hold of me. Besides, when I answered we were playing around instead of you panicking like you are now!"

"Well sorry for not wanting to worry you once I found out you were alive and okay! And I HAVE been TRYING to get a hold of you! And I would have continued to do so until you finally answered--WHICH, by the way, has been for the past ten minutes!" Kevin waved his free hand around to emphasize further his frustration. He took several deep breaths to calm himself and get straight to the point of the call.

Kevin saw Mike turn his head and give a sheepish grin and a little nod. When he turned back he brought his face closer and lowered his voice, "Thanks a lot. Now everyone here thinks I'm married to you, and from the sounds of it it's not working out."

"Sorry," Kevin chuckled, running a hand through his fluffed up hair. "But seriously, I have been trying to get through with no results. What the hell, Mike?"

"Iunno. I mean I _am_ in a store so the odds of shitty signal with my plan wouldn't surprise me."

"Oh. Right."

"But I'm almost near the exit, which explains how you got through this time, I guess. And how my phone was assaulted." He mumbled the last part. The screen got darker when Mike entered the first exit door, and as it slid closed behind him he continued with a question. "Why were you calling so much, by the way? Somethin' wrong?"

"Well, yeah. Sorta. I mean it's not at all surprising or anything but I wanted to make sure you knew. And were, you know, safe."

"Okay..." he said this as he looked up from the phone screen. Kevin couldn't see what he was looking at, but he could give a pretty solid guess. Especially when Mike unconsciously fumbled with the scarf around his neck.

Kevin clicked on the tab that had the weather report and began to reiterate the important parts back to his friend.

"See, I was busy working on some beats when I got a weather alert stating next to tragic news. It seems, Honey, that there's another winter storm warning in our area-including where you are-with heavy snowfall until, of course, Thursday afternoon. Which is pretty much two days from now. Oh, and it gets even better. The temperature is not only rapidly dropping to the negative tens they say, but could even reach into the negative twenties if we're lucky." Kevin readjusted his reading glasses, "I'm sorry, did I say 'lucky?' I meant 'hated by all humanity and trying to be eradicated off the face of the Earth'."

"Oh dammit," Mike groaned, "not another deep freeze. My pipes have barely recovered from the last one."

"Just the pipes?"

"Well yeah. If you're referring to myself I've lost all feeling to my fingers and toes years ago. I'm amazed myself that they haven't fallen off yet. I've long given up on my nose." As he said this, Mike went on the move again with the second doors sliding shut behind him. Then suddenly his face appeared to be surrounded by falling snow.

It was a little harder to see him except the odd occasion he got close to a parking lot light.

"All the same, that's why I've been trying to get a hold of you. It's starting to get really bad out there and I think it's best you hightail ass home."

"Agreed." Mike visibly shivered. He looked around. "Not a whole lot of cars out here anymore. Apparently, everyone got the message but for me. Not surprising. And of course, I didn't park close by. Wouldn't want to make this easy."

"Well you know now and I won't let you forget it," Kevin said as he continued to watch the weather page for signs of change.

"Hey, you said you were working on some music? How's that going?"

That got Kevin's full attention. "Oh. Yeah! I mean, it's not much right now. I don't have any lyrics to go with it and I've got no imaginable idea as to who or what it's for, but...you know, yeah. It's a start."

Mike smiled at him. "That sounds great. Mind if I hear some of it?"

"Sure! Here you go! One second."

This was a little thing the two of them would do. Usually, Kevin wasn't comfortable letting anyone in on the creation of his songs. These were his 'children' he created from scratch and he didn't want to be interrupted when he was inspired. That was his alone time. A Scorpio thing. However, Mike was an exception. He was always an exception for Kevin. Had been since he first saw the pretty blonde come in and audition to be a part of Mystery Science Theatre 3000. Back then Mike wrote the songs, and Kevin adored them. Every one of them. Those were the skits he most looked forward to. And knowing this, Mike would intentionally keep Kevin involved in his song making process. Giving him sneak-peeks, asking his opinion, etc. before involving anyone else. He loved it.

The song making process was and is a special procedure for the two of them. Silly, maybe, to anyone else, but it's precious to Kevin. Only Mike was allowed in. He was gentle and kind about it. Sensitive yet honest, and aware of what it meant to him, and there was trust. He loved that.

He found the unfinished piece he was working on and didn't even hesitate to get ready to play it. "Alrighty, my boy! Here it is! Whatever it is." He clicked the play button.

It wasn't a long piece. It wasn't very fast. But Kevin knew it well and to him, it was just noise at the moment. All his focus now was watching Mike's reaction to it. That was his favorite part. Mike had turned his head slightly to get an ear closer to the speaker. The smile never faded as he listened. Really listened. Taking it all in. The snow continued to fall around him. Landing on his hat, his scarf, his shoulders. Melting instantly on any skin it touched. It showered down like powdered sugar. Falling with the melody. The yellow glow of the lights from above illuminated him brighter as he moved, as the tune crescendoed. Kevin could see him clearly now. Only when it ended did he notice he had held his breath for the duration.

"So uh, what'd you think?" Kevin quickly asked, clearing his voice, mainly to keep his own mind focused on the actual subject.

Mike turned back to the screen. "Wow."

Kevin felt the all-over blush before he knew it happened. "Yeah?"

"Oh yeah." He cracked a half smile, "I think it could be the next perfect theme for our live show."

"I bet you say that to all your writers," Kevin said, batting his eyelashes at him in an exaggerated way.

"Only the ones who struggle to nail our next live riffs. All I have to say is 'Donald G. Jackson*' followed by that previously mentioned line, and then step back and watch the magic happen."

Kevin laughed. Then, with a new spurt of energy, he began to explain his next ideas for the song. "Actually, it's funny you mention that. Cuz I was planning on making this the next live song. As usual, I wanted to go in a different approach than the last one, of course on point to marry with the movie. Now I know what you're gonna say-and the answer is of course not. I mean, I know we haven't emphatically nailed down the rights to next years live shows yet, but it doesn't hurt to be inspire--"

"What?"

"I said 'I KNOW WE HAVEN'T EMPHATICALLY--"

"Kevin shh! I'm sorry, what'd you say?" Mike had once again faced away from the phone. He seemed to be struggling to communicate with somebody else in the parking lot. Whoever it was must not have been close, because every time Mike spoke to this other person he was near shouting. The ex-puppeteer sat and listened.

"Yes, it is. Do you need help?" There was a long pause on Kevin's end. If the other person responded, he never heard it. Whatever the answer was, it caused Mike's eyebrows to shoot upward toward his hat, then morphed to an odd look. "Well that was weird..." he mumbled.

"What happened?"

The younger riffer didn't turn back to his phone when he responded. "Just some guy out here. Wanted to know if the Hyundai* was my car. I said it was and if he needed some help and then," Mike shrugged, "he just turned and walked away. It was almost as if I offended him somehow."

An alarm went off inside Kevin. His mind just said _Do it_ only once, loud and clear, and then his thumb moved. He hit the red button on his phone. "Mike, I'm recording this."

After a brief pause, Mike turned as if broken from a trance. "What?"

"I said I'm recording this."

Slowly, a humorous smile spread across Mike's face. _"Why?"_

"Because I just want to, okay?"

"You're doing it again, you know." Mike chuckled as the sound of a _click!_ and a car door opening happened in the background. "Mother Hen Kevin."

"Oh shut up." Kevin pouted. "You can make fun of me all you want about it when you get back but until then, the recording is staying ON."

Mike slammed a door and started to move again, this time what ended up being around to the other side of the car. "Alright, fair enough. I'll only have you eat one tablespoon of delicious double vinegar-dipped mealworms. You should feel honored."

Kevin made a show of gagging horribly. "When did you get those?!"

"They were on sale. I told you not to let me shop alone." Mike snickered mischievously into the camera. Then his face fell and he suddenly went rigid. It took Kevin a moment or two to see the barrel of the gun against his friend's head through the falling snow. "Mike? What's happening?" Fear immediately rising in him.

Mike didn't move. He didn't answer him. All that could be seen was the rapidly growing panic pouring from his wide eyes.

"Don't turn around. Lift your arms up, open your door and get in." The voice was quiet and deep. It wasn't demanding in any way, but Kevin could still hear the threatening overtones in its meaning. From the camera angle, he couldn't see what the person looked like.

"Don't do it. Don't get in the car." Kevin tried to whisper as loudly as he could to Mike so as to be heard but not overheard. He even covered his own phone thinking that would help cancel out other sounds. "Mike listen to me. Scream, kick, do something else and do it now."

"Give me your phone. Slowly."

 _Shit! He heard me._ Kevin cursed to himself. Of course, he'd be too loud. He's always too fucking loud. "Don't!" He didn't bother to be quiet that time. Now he tried for commanding, hoping to win over the situation. "I'm begging you. Don't give him your phone!"

"Give it to me."

_"No!"_

But Mike just stood there, frozen and silent. His blue eyes blinded with terror as he continued to stare directly into the only person that mattered. It didn't take a mind reader to pick up on the message he was trying to express to Kevin, as if it was the last time he'd see him. Mike was heartbreakingly saying goodbye in the moments he felt he had left.

Kevin started screaming Mike's name. Over and over. He squeezed his phone with two hands and tried to will that look away, this whole thing away. Suddenly some commotion happened on his screen, the world spiraled and flipped, and then--

_\--BEEP!--_

**CALL ENDED**

**Author's Note:**

> *Donald G. Jackson: Is the degenerate director who has cursed all humanity by creating such awful movies such as 'Rollergator'.The boys riff it at RiffTrax, and (although you can hear them cracking slowly throughout the movie) by the end of the movie they, well...let's just say it has one of the greatest riff endings I have ever heard in my entire life. So much screaming, hysterical laughter, crying... poor boys. It really broke them.  
> Mr. Jackson has made many, many other trashers and sadly is very prolific. He needs to be stopped. (BTW, Rollergator gets a 1.2 rating on IMDB. just to give you an idea of how deliciously scarring it is. It's a favorite of mine.)
> 
> **Hyundai: I actually have no idea what car Mr. and Mrs. Nelson drive. I live in the same state as all of these people but it's not as if I stalk them or anything... so, you know. Just kinda picked a random vehicle.


End file.
